Audit, poem published by Clairr O'Connor

      1
      March days we plan
      with lists, yet life
      keeps happening.

      2
      Mornings, I hide from light
      as you leave, your bag fat
      with textbooks.

      March brings me low—
      days of sleety snow
      and waiting for another
      mapping of the body
      in this month of its
      annual audit.

      3
      Usually, I’m like a willful
      child with a toy trumpet
      blasting my way through
      but March silences me.

      4
      These nights I dream
      I’m in a famine field
      weakly negotiating
      the potato ridges,
      my head unhinged
      from a cabbage only
      diet.

      When you’re gone
      I walk the mornings
      then stare the afternoons
      away at the big screen.

      At dinner we talk
      other people or politics.
      We practise normality,
      our gauge set taut.

      5

      In sleep you mutter
      things I can’t decipher
      and hold me so fast
      I wake.

      6

      Today I’ll be in a hospital
      paper gown again,
      but when I daydream
      we trampoline together.



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