Sestina, poem published by Jane Joritz-Nakagawa

      Not wanting to be an open book
      We hide, like forgotten clothes, the passion
      we consumed, until the house of which we recently have tired
      collapses before we fully escape it. The remains of this life,
      waiting like a meal, are pushed
      aside for some semblance of predictable help

      two souls pasted together by well-heeled passion
      though tonight its expression may be curbed like a tire
      (during lukewarm crisis of midlife)
      of a car in which we first pushed
      hungrily toward sex. They were of no particular help,
      the characters in the book

      like the dutiful wife tonight unheeded, tired
      (as elsewhere in life)
      of the mounds of chores towards which she is haplessly pushed
      as if from behind, there's just no getting the proper help
      these days, despite having lived more/less without complaining by the book.
      No particular taste of passion

      onto which we can wield, hoist or push
      our wayward children to whom we now turn for help
      knowing not what else to do & having abandoned all our books
      or our hope in them in favor of "real life," or our passion
      which is just a fiction as you remind me til I'm tired
      of hearing it, as i seem to have been my whole life.

      You would think someone might suddenly drop in (as if from above) to help
      at such moments. "If you have a book,
      you always have a friend." Now passionate
      rather too much about reading, I wonder if I'm in fact tired
      of the bookish life,
      into which I was inadvertently pushed

      having been a shy child, it may be noted, helped
      chiefly by philosophical books,
      the age of reason being, after all, my first passion,
      until the age of 18 when of Sartre I finally tired.
      Little did I know this train of thought would last my entire life
      although i still can fancy jumping from a plane as if pushed

      which indeed, I would have to be. Who wouldn't
      have known or guessed that passion would help push us through, in the face
      of tired bookishness, a hazardous life....



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